This morning as I walked back to my car after dropping my youngest and her best friend off at camp i smiled to myself, I felt joy in my being and I recognized I’m doing pretty darn good at this mothering stuff.
That being said I have been in bed for the last few days with a stomach bug, so my house is a bit of a wreck and I am behind on all kinds of things, like this blog it was due yesterday. However, I don’t feel bad about it and I’m not full of anxiety like I have been in the past. I know the things most important to me will get done.
Since getting autoimmune 4 years ago a lot has had to change in my life and I’m still working on designing my best life. Understanding and knowing my 4 core values has been a compass for me. Keeping these values at the forefront of my decision making process has helped me to know how to hold better boundaries, to be more committed to my practice, to following through on the things I want to accomplish in my day to day life and also in my big picture life.
When you don’t know what your core values are it is very difficult to know what to say yes to and what to say no to. It’s like you really have no direction and you choose on a whim. Sometimes that whim is motivated by the guilt of saying no and not feeling like you should, or feeling bad for someone. If you are clear about your values when you are posed with a task you can just ask a quick question - is this in alignment with what I want to create more of in my life? Is it in alignment with who I am?
A frequent conversation I have with clients is around alcohol. They want to stop or limit alcohol consumption because of health issues but are worried about how it will effect their social and business relationships. Getting together over drinks is pretty common in our society. The first step to making this shift is to ask yourself what are your highest values. If health and wellness are on there then our work is to align with that. Once we know that to be true for us it makes it a lot easier to shift our behavior. The next time someone asks you out for drinks you know. If you know that is not in alignment with you, you can choose to say no or give other options like how about we go for a cup of tea or a walk or this class I have been wanting to take.
Having a practice that you do daily is no easy thing. The commitment to practice needs to come from “I want” rather than “I should”.
I want to practice because .... it helps me keep myself balanced and it gives me the opportunity to check in and see how I am actually doing. It helps me build resiliency and it gives me rest. My practice supports me living in alignment with my values and purpose. Knowing my values - the things that are really important to me helps me to stay committed to practice. It’s my why.
My Daily Life -
What you do on a daily basis is actually what determines the life you create. This is something I have realized more and more in the last year. It sounds like complete common sense but for some reason it is not. I realized I had this secret belief that there would come a time where life wasn’t so busy and I would be able to “catch up” and do the big things that would help me get to the place I want to go in life.
Values serve as your compass in the sense that they help you realize where you are going off track, where you are getting distracted and how maybe letting the dishes go for a few hours so you can write your blog might actually help you live more authentically.
In my daily life, one of the biggest time sucks for me is social media. Uhh ... it’s crazy .... I can be looking at my day and organizing it and maybe telling myself I don’t have time to do something but then I will get online and before I know it 20 minutes has gone by.
I had to recognize I did not want to loose time to Facebook scrolling. I feel much better at the end of the day if I have taken those 20 minutes to sit outside or drink a cup of tea.
Big Picture -
At the end of the day, this is the broader sweep of your life. When you look back on life in 20 or 30 years you will see the big picture. What do you want to feel when you look at how you lived your life? Whats important? Knowing your values now and living from that place will help determine your destination.
To find our more about values or receive some coaching around it reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org or come on retreat with us in November to Tulum.